How long should groom vows be?

60 to 90 seconds spoken aloud — roughly 150 to 200 words. The best-remembered groom vows in every wedding I've photographed have been short, specific, and ended on a single strong line.

Should a groom's vows be funny or serious?

The most memorable ones almost always mix both — one honest laugh inside an otherwise sincere set, or one deeply serious line inside a playful one. Pure comedy reads like a bit; pure earnestness reads like a card.

Is it okay for a groom to cry during vows?

Yes. Guests remember the moment you meant it more than any line you wrote. Pause. Breathe. Look up. Keep going.

Groom Vows: Examples, Tone & Common Mistakes

Groom vows have a reputation for either landing hard or falling flat. The difference is almost always tone. Here's how to pick yours — plus three short examples you can borrow the bones from.

The tone question

The single most useful decision you can make before writing is choosing a base tone and one contrast beat. Sincere-with-one-laugh works almost every time. Funny-with-one-honest-line also works. Straight comedy or straight earnestness rarely does.

Example 1: Sincere

Emma. The first time I made you laugh, I decided I was going to do it every day for the rest of my life. I promise to keep trying, even on the days I'm the joke. I promise to tell you when I'm scared instead of getting quiet. I promise to be the one who checks the noise at two a.m., and to choose you out loud when it's easy and when it isn't. You are my home.

Example 2: Funny, with a heart

I promise to keep buying the good coffee even when it's not on sale. I promise to lose at cards at least once a year, on purpose. I promise to be the person who says "we don't need to talk about it right now" — and means it. And the real one: I promise that whatever version of us shows up in twenty years, I still want to be the person standing next to you.

Example 3: Quiet

I don't have a big promise. I have a small one, over and over. To notice. To ask the second question. To make you a cup of something when I see you're tired. To choose you tomorrow, and the day after, in the small ways that add up to a life.

What almost always works for grooms

Say her name (or their name) in the first sentence.
Land one specific image only the two of you would recognize.
Give three concrete promises — one small, one medium, one large.
End on a single sentence that could stand alone as a keepsake.

What almost never works

Opening with a joke about being nervous or single-life.
Listing her virtues without promising anything.
Reading from your phone.
Going past two minutes.